How to Reach The ‘Next Level’ in 30 Minutes or Your Money Back.

Posted on by RockNThunder

What if 30 minutes could change your destiny?

We all know Einstein said that, ‘We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used to when we created them.’  Maybe it goes on to imply that by by attempting to use the same thinking aka beliefs about how the world is, we are, the ‘system’ is, men are, women are… – we cannot to to a ‘different’ or the ‘next level’ for lack of a better term. Thus, to get to that other place where we want to really truly be, we cannot believe the same things or make the same actions and behaviors to get there.

The thinking that got you to where you are in life, relationship, career/mission, happiness/stress cannot get you to the next level or to a different way of being/having/thinking/feeling.

Do become a different person, you must give up the certainty in some or many of your current beliefs to make room  for new ones that are closer to that next level.  For example, the things you had to know and believe that got you to $100,000 will not get you $1,000,000.  And the thinking that got you to $1,000,000 will not get you to $100,000,000 or a billion.

Therefore, in order for your environment to change, you MUST make it a MUST to learn other people’s ideas, beliefs, psychology and thinking (not necessarily accept them, but rather understand them) and get new voices about beliefs that are different than yours to move to a different place from where you are.

Certainty is wonderful to give you power in making things happen and conquering fear, but it is also what can hold you back from the true potential and possibility that is awaiting you is you can find a way to expand your thoughts and understanding.  Sometimes asking yourself, ‘is that really true’ to the thought that is holding you back will let your mind answer itself in a way that gives you an opening for expansion.

The easiest way to to this is by committing to CANI (constant and neverending improvement) for at least 30 minutes a day.  Read or listen to or watch some kind of book, audio program or video that can offer new or different ways of thinking or strategies that have worked for other potential models that have achieved what you desire (this does not include magazines and newspapers – those are meant to get the scarce resource of your attention, not inform or lift you to new heights).

Demming, in many ways responsible for Japan’s economic turnaround after the war, coined the mindset of always looking to do and create the ‘Highest and Best’. With a focus on always finding an even better way, always testing, always learning to make it even better – quality instead of quantity, you CAN and WILL get to a better place in any and every area of your life.

To help with perspective:

Imagine you have 3 balls (mind out of the gutter please!) – a basketball, a soccer ball and a ping-pong ball.  Each one represents one area of where you spend the majority of your time and focus in either 1) Relationship, 2) Work, or 3) Self.  According to the SIZE of the ball, label each ball with one of  these 3 areas depending on where you spend the majority of your time /focus.

WHERE DO YOU SPEND THE MAJORITY OF YOUR TIME / FOCUS?  Is it at work? On yourself?  On your relationship?  Where do you spend the LEAST amount of time/focus?

Can you see or does it click or can you feel why you might be struggling in some area of your life?

If the ping-pong ball represents someone’s relationship, do you thing there might be some issues within that relationship? What if your partner’s relationship was a basketball while yours was a ping-pong ball?  If your basketball represents Relationship and the ping-pong ball is Work – would you expect that type of person is struggling financially?

So, how would you label your balls? Which is the basketball, soccer ball and ping-pong balls! And, maybe more important, where could you make a shift in those labels that could change EVERYTHING?

If your basketball is Self, and you changed it to Work – do you think your financial world might have the capability of becoming a new kind of awesome?  Or, if you made it Relationship, would you be able to completely convert that 1 or 2 Dimentional stagnant relationship with your lover and create a 3 Dimentional piece of artwork of passion, intimacy, euphoria and ecstasy in its place?  (1 Dimentional is when you come to Get not give, 2 Dimentional is where you make it 50-50, ‘you do your part, I’ll do mine’ generally with little passion, 3D is where their needs are your needs and it lights you up to light them up, where there’s intimate passion and fun, where you’re courageous enough to give 100% and bring that out in your partner as well).

Next time you play with a ball or play basketball, soccer, ping-pong or any other sport with a ball like tennis, bowling, cricket, baseball or whatever – maybe you will want to ask yourself, ‘in which area do I spend the majority of my time/focus? Which area do I spend the least? If I make a change immediately, how could this make everything better?

I know for me personally, these techniques have changed the course of my life and destiny immensely.  When I realized the time I was spending on relationships, my relationship went from pretty good to freakin’ awesome! When I spend the time expanding my mind and understanding, the world shifts to bring me closer to the path leading to my chosen destiny.

I wish you understanding and passion on your way to your destiny.

I love you,  I’m Sorry,  Please forgive me,  Thank you.

Alex Beyer, Esq.

http://www.StateStoryStrategy.com

How to Never FAIL Again!

Posted on by RockNThunder

The way to be perfect and never ‘fail’ is to give yourself permission to TEST every desired outcome.

Once you realize that there is always some kind of improvement that can be made, the goal then can become, ‘how can I make this even better?’ instead of ‘how can i make this perfect, so I don’t fail?’ (and thus never try because nobody wants to feel like a failure because that stops us from trying due to our greatest fear that we might not be enough and thus won’t be loved).

Testing means trying 2 different methods of getting a desired result, then measuring and comparing the results.  To do this we have to realize there is not only one way to get to an outcome you desire – there are a million plus ways!  So, you Test two of them, look at the effectiveness of each, notice how one action or method or strategy or training or sales letter or attempt to find/create a 3 Dimentional relationship (where, your partner’s needs ARE your needs, so your in the relationship to fulfill them rather than to take) or one way of feeling great in every moment of every day – then you compare the results of each and ask yourself, ‘which of these worked better at producing the result I want?’ Then you use the better strategy as the new stardard to test against.

You then merely test your current ‘best’ strategy against another wild  or seemingly crazy or logically sound method to see which of those two methods work better … and so on.

It’s a never ending cyle that gets you measured improved results, but that allows you to take action without being perfect because it’s just a Test, just a Try, just a Science Experiment that your sense of Identity is not tied to whether it works or not!

Plus it can be super fun and is a systematic way to constantly work on providing more value than anyone else – the key to becoming wealthy i  every area of your life.

I hope this technique, or better yet this way of thinking, can produce exponentially better and fulfilling results for you in the areas of your physical energy, emotional states (allowing you to be a testing scientist instead of needing to be a Perfectionist – which causes stress/fear because that’s an impossible and boring standard), your Relationships, making your Time more effective because you’re measuring results, in your Business and Marketing efforts, your Finances and investments as well as how you Reward and celebrate your victorious.  The possibilities are now unlimited and we can let Fear of Failure (the thing that’s stoops most people from ever taking action) go and we can be free.

I love you,  Thank you.

Alex Beyer, Esquire

http://www.StateStoryStrategy.com

‘The world is our Playground,  Love is our Legacy.’

How To Save Your Marriage or Relationship NOW by applying 6 Human Needs Psychology

Posted on by RockNThunder

When a family breaks up, each partner generally tells everyone else, “I don’t know what happened.  I gave them EVERYTHING!”  The answer to that is, “Well, you gave them everything . . . EXCEPT what they really needed.”

How would you feel if this DID NOT HAVE TO BE YOU and your partner?  How great would it be if you woke up in the morning excited and full of wonder in how you will find a way to make your lover’s eyes sparkle and light up? How would it feel to know that you were the number one source of happiness and joy in his or her life?  How much would you enjoy feeling Passionate and Determined to be totally in love, to wit, that no matter what you and your partner would never consider being with anyone else?

The fact is most people don’t see what else they can do.  They are blind as to what more can be done.  There’s not just more, there are actually EFFECTIVE ways to turn things around.  Einstein said in effect, “you cannot fix a problem using the same thought processes that created the problem.”  You need to change your thinking with a new or different view or idea.  This is one of the strongest I’ve ever found.

Under SIX HUMAN NEEDS PSYCHOLOGY, developed by Tony Robbins, every person has six basic needs (not merely wants), and every act a person makes is in order to attain one or more of those needs.  These 6 Needs are the needs for:

  • Certainty
  • Significance
  • Variety
  • Love & Connection
  • Growth
  • Contribution

CERTAINTY is the need to feel comfort, stability or consistency in life.  A need to know the basic necessities in life will be taken care of – things like food, shelter and material resources.  Many people who cannot control their physical circumstances may get certainty through a state of mind like religious faith or optimism.

SIGNIFICANCE is everyone’s need to feel special, unique and important somehow.  People try to obtain this need from recognition from others or from themselves.  Getting Angry can make someone feel powerful and significant, having larger problems to show than someone else or even projecting insignificance or helplessness as a way to get attention and recognition.

VARIETY is a paradoxical need opposite of Certainty.  Although we want stability and consistently, people get bored and want to change their state.  This can be done through stimuli, changing scenery, exercise, mood swings, T.V., entertainment, food, etc.

LOVE & CONNECTION is the need to feel connected with someone or something.  Everybody has a deep down basic need to be loved.  In fact our GREATEST FEAR is that we’re not Enough, and if we’re not enough we won’t be Loved – by peers, by strangers, by parents, clients or potentially anybody.  This connection can be a person or community, an idea or value, a habit or identity we’ve chosen for ourselves.  When we don’t feel loved, often we will settle for a lower level of connection than risk a feeling of being unloved.

GROWTH is a need for expansion beyond what we currently are.  All things are either growing or dying, whether we’re talking about relationships, knowledge, understanding, businesses or love.   Expansion of our own identity and knowledge is the key to the feeling of happiness.

CONTRIBUTION is a need to get outside of oneself and give to another, a community or even the world.  It’s the key to being fulfilled long term.  We all tend to sing a song of “Me, Me, Me, Me!” which is the recipe for depression and discouragement.  When we can get outside of our heads and do something for another, our spirits can feel joy and peace like nothing else.

Obviously there is allot more to the Six Human Needs, but for purposes of this discussion, how does this relate to Saving Your Marriage?

For the sake of simplicity, think about how you felt when you and your partner first got together.  Maybe a first date, when she said, “Yes,” when life together seemed like it was just flowing and you didn’t have to try.

At that time, which of these 6 Needs were you meeting for your partner?

Did you make them feel Significant by spending as much free time as you possibly could with them and buy them things and say things to make them feel special?  Did your partner do the same for you?

Did you make your partner feel Confident, Certain and Know without a doubt that you would protect them and care for them and be there no matter what happened or what they did?  Did your partner do the same for you?

Did you Connect with them and show Love to them both physically and emotionally and with words and gestures, with your tone of voice and your time?  Did you look in their eyes, did you do the same enjoyable things together, talk about fascinating subjects and hold and embrace each other all the time?  Did your partner return the Love or give it first to you?

Were you Growing together in Emotions and feelings?  Were your feelings Magnified when you were together, including your feelings of Joy, Pleasure, Fun, Excitement, Passion, Resourcefulness and Happiness?  Did you do the same your partner?  Did you feel and make them feel like you were both Expanding becoming more because you were together?  Were you both increasing your Identities to include the other in your pictures and in your experiences?

Do you feel like you were giving to and willing to give to them pretty much anything they wanted to make them feel happy and alive, regardless of when they were in a sad or bad or unhappy mood?  Did your partner do the same for you when you were down?  Did they give to you, even when you may not feel you deserved it?

As you can clearly see, in the beginning, you both were meeting all of each other’s needs in every way you possibly could.  Tony Robbins says, “If you treated each other like you did in the beginning, there would be no end”

However, in your current situation, is your partner still meeting your needs in the same way they did in the beginning?  Do they make you feel Certain that you’ll be safe and taken care of?  Do you feel money is a problem and constant reminder that there’s never enough?  Do they make you feel Significant, that you’re the number one in their life?  Or, do you now feel like you’re #7 or #8 after each of the kids, mom, dad, their brother and sister, band buddies and colleagues?  Are you a “clock on the wall” as my wife used to say?  Are you so bored all the time when you’re together that the only thing you can think to do is go watch TV, get on your phone or Facebook, eat Food, go to Work (other than the 2 weeks out of the last 52 weeks in the year and a weekends and holidays where you might go on an exhausting trip as a family…)?  Do you feel like your identity is Expanding because you are with them, or shrinking because of a feeling of being held back?  Do you feel like you cannot fully give because either they don’t accept it or you are held back from reaching a potential you know you have inside?

Conversely, are YOU still meeting these 6 Needs for your Partner?  If you said, “Yes” and you’re still having a hard time, then you’re lying to yourself.  Do you make your partner KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that you will do whatever it takes to take care of them no matter what?  Do you make them KNOW that they are the single most important thing in life to you – more than work, more than your mission, more than kids and relatives or friends?  Do you make their life so exciting and fun with surprises and different experiences that they never know what great thing will happen next?  Do you show them, tell them and make them feel by touch and buying trinkets and “unnecessary” items that you Love them and that you’re thinking about them All the Freaking Time (AFT)?  Do you help them to Grow (no Criticisms and Coaching to them without being asked is not helping them grow!) and feel alive and feel like they’re becoming more because they are with you?  Do you let them know how much they Contribute to your life’s happiness and joy and success and that because of them you and the world and your family are all a better place, regardless of how they feel their position is not good enough?

These are the questions you have to ask yourself.  If all of these needs were met for you, how would you feel?  Happy?  What about for your partner?  If all of these needs were met at a level 10 for them, how would they feel?  Ecstatic?  Do happy and passionate people with a level 10 Love, who feel like they are Growing and Contributing and excited for each other’s next experience together, who know they are #1 in the other’s life and who have no doubt that no matter what or how much money is made, they will make it work and be together – do these type of people leave each other?  Do they cheat on each other with a supermodel?  Do they criticize and complain about “spilled milk”?  NO THEY DON’T.

There are 3 LEVELS OF A RELATIONSHIP that we all need to understand:

1) Level 1: The partners are only concerned about getting their own needs met.  This type of relationship cannot and will not last.

2) Level 2: Partners BARTER for needs.  “I’ll give you what you want, if you give me what I want.”  This is also called horse-trading or “whoring” – giving love only to get what you want.  This relationship can last, but will not bring lasting intimacy and you both will feel suffering because there is “something” missing.

3) Level 3: Partners put the others’ needs first!  This is the only relationship where love is Unconditional, and it is essential to long-lasting fulfillment.  When you do this, your relationship will transmutate right in front of you.

Level 3 is NOT 50-50.  It is 100-100%.  You give 100% to the other regardless of how they are feeling, what State they are in or going through a difficult time.  You cannot enjoy a relationship at the highest level unless BOTH of you are at a Level 3 and discovering how to meet each other’s needs and putting each other FIRST.

This is not a mere TECHNIQUE like a diet.  It’s like eating to for permanent health, it must be a LIFE-STYLE that you live for your entire life and where the rewards are out of this world!

Some people are afraid that if they give their all, their partner will not respond, so they hold back some of their Love.   RECIPE FOR DISASTER!  If it is your DECISION that you will not give 100%, then there’s no way your partner will be able to reciprocate with 100% because they know you’re holding back and it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.  The rewards of giving 100% and Resolving to live at a Level 3 relationship are worth the risk.  The Decision not to is to let this and probably any future potential relationship die with certainty or at least not get close to the magnificence you could have otherwise had.

STRATEGY:

1) First, determine what your own TOP 2 (Driving Force) needs are:

  1. Certainty
  2. Significance
  3. Connection/Love
  4. Variety
  5. Growth
  6. Contribution

2) What do you hallucinate that your partner’s needs are and in what order?

3) How do you meet your top needs?  Do you satisfy them more:

  • at work
  • at home
  • with friends
  • with relatives
  • by yourself
  • through kids
  • TV, food, drugs, alcohol, exercising, etc.

4) How do you hallucinate your partner meets their 6 Needs?

5) What has to happen for you to feel that your top needs are being met?

Q: How often does it have to happen, and with whom?

Q: Are you more responsive to words, to touch, to visual cues, or gifts and gestures?

Q: What could your partner do to meet your needs better and more regularly?

                Q: Have you told your partner?

Action: Write these down.

6) Ask yourself: On a scale from 1-10, at what level am I meeting my partner’s 6 Human Needs?

Q: How Certain is your partner that you love them?

Q: How much Variety and surprise do they get from you?

Q: How Significant do they feel that they are number one in your life?

Q: How much Love and Connection do they get from you on a DAILY basis?

Q: How much Growth do they feel in your relationship?

Q: How much do you help them to Contribute to others or the world?

 Q: Is your partner more responsive to Words, Touch, Visual Cues, Gestures or Gifts?

Q: What could you do every month, every week, every day, or several times per day for your partner?

Q: How would it feel to be completely confident that you can meet your partner’s needs?

Q: If you are not sure how to meet your partner’s different needs, ASK THEM, “what has to happen for you to feel this need has been met?”  Ask this with regard to all 6 Needs.

Remember that everyone has individual ways for meeting their needs which need to be taken care of before you attempt to change them to something more sustainable.  As their partner, your JOB is, to wit your OBSESSION needs to be knowing and serving them – even if their needs are difficult for you to understand.  Trying to meet another’s needs in the same way you want them to meet yours leads to more pain.  Remember the Platinum Rule: “Treat others how they WANT to be treated, NOT how You want to be treated.”

7) Which of Your top needs are being met by people OUTSIDE of your intimate relationship?

Q: Are they family members, friends, colleagues, or children?

Q: Are you getting more significance, love or variety from people other than your intimate partner?

                Q: Does your partner ever feel jealous or displaced by this?

Q: Are you getting needs met by someone who is critical or judgmental of your partner?

If this kind of intrusion is creating a challenge for your partner, you need to correct it NOW.  Here’s how.  1) Call this other significant person (e.g.-your mother, your sister, your brother, or your friend) and 2) Tell them how much you love your partner and how happy you are to be in love with them, and how much they mean to you.  3) OBSERVE the other person’s reaction as you tell them.  This person needs to understand that your partner comes first, and that your partner is meeting your needs and this also helps your partner feel that you are putting him or her above your other relationships. 4) REPEAT ONCE A WEEK.

WHEN WOULD NOW BE THE BEST TIME TO ENHANCE, FIX, UPGRADE OR OVERHAUL YOUR MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP?

You now have the tools, strategies, the WHY and the HOW to turn things around in your Marriage or relationship.  You can either make an Excuse (a STORY of why you can’t/won’t/should someday because…. [name your excuse here]) or make a Resolution that how you WERE will end TODAY, RIGHT NOW, IN THIS MOMENT and that making this Marriage or relationship work will be a MUST for you and a way of life (a RITUAL).  Since a True DECISION is not made without an Action, what will you do RIGHT NOW to begin this new phase in making the rest of your life the best of your life?

YOUR MOVE.

Alex Beyer

I Love you, I’m Sorry, Please Forgive me and Thank you.

www.StateStoryStrategy.com